Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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