One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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