this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I love having hate sex.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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