God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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