I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
