All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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