But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
