covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
