I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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