32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
