So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
