I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
stop calling my apartment porn island.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
