she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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