walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
