I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
