Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
