are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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