yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
