Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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