...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
