I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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