Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
