just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
