Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
