I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
