I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
