even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
