So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
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