Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
