At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
