I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
