I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
