It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
So. Much. Porn.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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