i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
