Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
