I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
