How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
