i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I am mentally ready for anal.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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