I wannas sexs uuuuu
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
