dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
