New invention idea: vibrating tampons
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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