I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
