Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
