I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
