I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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