I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
