I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
