im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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