Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
