the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
