whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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