I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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